every sneeze is dangerous when you’re an adult SCORE 26
i lied when i told myself i wouldn’t think about it anymore SCORE 20
if this doesn’t work i give up SCORE 12
you can die but your cat will always find a way to ask you for food at 3am SCORE 10
muggle born SCORE 15
i am your coffee maker SCORE 13
bad guys don’t get noses SCORE 7
there’s no time to explain, get in the pea SCORE 27
Oh no, what have my ducks done now? SCORE 12
my coffee is confused about how it feels this morning SCORE 4
friday is perfect for delivery SCORE 22
1882 us patent for a mousetrap SCORE 19
the one tool that makes it impossible to open your kitchen drawer every time SCORE 29
shoutout to that one person that listens SCORE 46
the look of being bamboozled SCORE 24
my kids thought this was a robot SCORE 14
if only they had slammed on the… oh nevermind SCORE 19
texagons SCORE 23
directions mean nothing to an amazon delivery person SCORE 12
rat snitch brian the good time ruiner strikes again SCORE 31
turtles over tummy toning SCORE 34
how you feel after returning your shopping cart to the corral SCORE 10
no SCORE 23
help, i woke up SCORE 32
everything is what you deserve and is also a type of bagel SCORE 19
the weezered of oz SCORE -2
a true work of art SCORE 13
clumsy summoning circle SCORE 26
terry pratchett understood all humans deserve to be treated fairly SCORE 32
a baseball bat by any other name is just a hit stick SCORE 13
if you’re not planning your next meal ahead of time, what are you even doing with your life? SCORE 10
space facts on your back SCORE 37