if only they had slammed on the… oh nevermind SCORE 18
help, i woke up SCORE 32
my kids thought this was a robot SCORE 15
the one tool that makes it impossible to open your kitchen drawer every time SCORE 29
i just need 8-12 hours of alone time in the morning SCORE 27
bad guys don’t get noses SCORE 7
the look of being bamboozled SCORE 24
friday is perfect for delivery SCORE 21
Oh no, what have my ducks done now? SCORE 12
i lied when i told myself i wouldn’t think about it anymore SCORE 20
muggle born SCORE 14
i am your coffee maker SCORE 13
my coffee is confused about how it feels this morning SCORE 4
there’s no time to explain, get in the pea SCORE 27
every sneeze is dangerous when you’re an adult SCORE 26
no SCORE 23
a true work of art SCORE 13
rat snitch brian the good time ruiner strikes again SCORE 31
turtles over tummy toning SCORE 34
texagons SCORE 23
shoutout to that one person that listens SCORE 45
terry pratchett understood all humans deserve to be treated fairly SCORE 32
1882 us patent for a mousetrap SCORE 19
the weezered of oz SCORE -2
you can die but your cat will always find a way to ask you for food at 3am SCORE 10
how you feel after returning your shopping cart to the corral SCORE 10
directions mean nothing to an amazon delivery person SCORE 12
if you’re not planning your next meal ahead of time, what are you even doing with your life? SCORE 10
a baseball bat by any other name is just a hit stick SCORE 13
clumsy summoning circle SCORE 26
marked safe from dishonor SCORE 9
if this doesn’t work i give up SCORE 12
