make sure she knows your father material by texting “okay” and using the thumbs up emoji SCORE 17
there’s no time to explain, get in the pea SCORE 25
terrible storytelling expert SCORE 30
he always wanted to get on a fire truck and finally built up the courage to ask SCORE 44
we have been trying to reach you about your cars extended warranty SCORE 36
buddhist heaven is called… SCORE 24
i just need 8-12 hours of alone time in the morning SCORE 27
a baseball bat by any other name is just a hit stick SCORE 12
marked safe from dishonor SCORE 8
dogs only care about one thing and it’s disgusting SCORE 20
cute winking cat SCORE 18
ikea is grown up lego SCORE 21
kids reminded this grown man that sometimes it’s healthy to just… act like a kid SCORE 84
my coffee is confused about how it feels this morning SCORE 4
every sneeze is dangerous when you’re an adult SCORE 25
when you’re walking down the cereal aisle and see yourself in the security monitor SCORE 16
me watching you edit my google doc SCORE 14
shoutout to that one person that listens SCORE 44
directions mean nothing to an amazon delivery person SCORE 12
wishbone taught us all classic literature SCORE 33
don’t open the blinds while i watch my stories SCORE 15
depressed dog wanted to stay on vacation SCORE 23
extreme gardening SCORE 34
the one tool that makes it impossible to open your kitchen drawer every time SCORE 28
and for no reason your life flashes before your eyes SCORE 28
rat snitch brian the good time ruiner strikes again SCORE 30
if this doesn’t work i give up SCORE 12
the weezered of oz SCORE -2
children practice reading books to shelter dogs so they don’t feel alone SCORE 26
happy dog before and after asking to go outside and play in the snow SCORE 30
terry pratchett understood all humans deserve to be treated fairly SCORE 32
how you feel after returning your shopping cart to the corral SCORE 9
